Being envious is not a positive trait.
It’s hard not to envy some people. If they are leading a life you have longed for, how can you not be jealous?
This was me not so long ago. I was sitting on the outside watching others live their lives the way I wanted to live mine. It wasn’t until I started focusing on my outcomes, my desires, and my ideas that I started to become happy with my own life.
I personally find it valuable to be single without anyone to worry about but yourself. As I discover this world and live out my desires, I realize how little I know about myself. I’ve discovered disinterred thoughts I knew were always there, waiting to be carried out, but never were. Why hadn’d I listened to my calling before? Did I let other people intimidate me into living a life I didn’t want? I did. These people included family, friends, boyfriends and even strangers. In the end, I have nobody to blame but myself. By letting other people influence me, I succumbed to their views of what my life should look like. “People to often forget that it is your own choice how you want to spend the rest of your life.”
Often times, I was afraid to follow my heart because I assumed other people would be better than me or had already done what I wanted to carry out. These are ridiculous fears. You are unique in your own way, and nobody is like you. There is no reason why the life you long to live can’t be your life.
Here are 5 tips to help you live a positive, meaningful and focused life you will be proud to call yours:
1) Say NO.
Say no to anything that doesn’t 100% excite you. If you do something with the feeling of “eh, alright that sounds like fun” you are wasting your valuable time that you will never get back. My friends and co-workers invite me out to drink all the time. Sure, going out sounds like a great time, but will it take me to my end goal? No. Have fun and enjoy time with the people who make it worthwhile, but know your limitations, know when to say “enough.”
On that note, stop doing activities that aren’t constructive to your time. If at the end of your day you come home, sit on the couch and watch Netflix for 4 hours, you’ve wasted 4 hours of time that you will never get back. It’s okay to have relaxing time, but don’t take advantage of it. A lot of times I hear people say “I don’t have time” or “I can’t do that now…” these are words of victims. Excuses are not going to get you the life you want. Rephrase your sentences like this: “I can’t work on my website right now because it’s not a priority.” When you phrase it like that, it makes you more aware. “I can’t workout because my health is not a priority” is much more alarming than “I can’t workout because I don’t have time.”
2) Empower other people.
How good do you feel when someone compliments you? Personally, I feel incredible. I feel even more incredible when I compliment someone else. The more you give, the more you get. This is true for any walk in life. Do not give with the intention of receiving something in return. This is selfish and is not what I mean when I say you should give to others. Giving to someone can be through words, time or material items. Tell someone how proud you are of them for their accomplishments. Tell your dad he is your role model. Look at your mom and explain how grateful you are for her presence in your life, some people do not get that pleasure. Cook a nice meal for your co-worker. Find your niche, and support others along their journey.
3) Think positively, act positively and respond positively.
When something negative happens to you, respond with kindness. You will amaze yourself at how the situation will turn in your favor. The Universe wants to give you what you wish for, but you must act with affirmative and affectionate gestures towards all life. Be compassionate and thoughtful. Listen instead of waiting to speak. Whenever you start to think negatively, turn that thought around at once and think positively. Every day this will become easier and easier, and you will find yourself complaining less and less.
My brother and I live by this quote: “Nobody knows what’s good or bad.” A tragic event could take place in your life, but who knows if that event is good or bad? The reason we interpret such events as being bad is that we label them as such. Read the Taoist Tale of the farmer and his son.
4) Stop listening to others, listen to your intuition.
I cannot stress this enough. Sometimes, people will try to control your life, or tell you how to live, out of love. Other times, not so much. Do what you feel is right. Follow your calling and do not let others cloud your vision. Most of the time, only you can see your vision, and when others cannot they will not understand what you are doing; and this is okay. If you are an artist, you can relate well to this. When you see a vision for a piece you want to create, you know how it is going to turn out, because you are the creator. No matter the detail you use to explain this vision to an outsider, it will not be envisioned by them like you see it. Have you ever gotten a tattoo and explained your idea to your tattoo artist, and he draws something up that is different from what you imagined? It’s the same concept and idea, but a different outcome. You are the one person who knows your vision, therefor you have to be the person that carries it out. Be confident with your choices and listen to your inner guide, it knows what is right more than anyone else.
5) Eat like you love yourself, move like you love yourself, and talk like you love yourself.
No shame in saying “I am good enough.” If you are good at something, say it. Exploit it. Tell the world about your passion. I love to workout and design programs, and I am good at it. I love to write, and I am pursuing that passion without hesitation.
Eat living foods for your living body. Eat until you are 80% full. Consume bright and colorful foods that nourish your soul. When you eat to live, you live a fuller, brighter, happier life.
Move with the rhythm of your soul. If it feels right, it probably is right. If you love yoga, do yoga. Whenever you want to take a long walk outside, nothing should stop you. Find what drives you to live an active life and hold on to that consciousness.