Life continuously amazes me. I don’t want to say that bad things never happen to me, because ‘bad’ things happen to me all the time, but I have taught myself how to react to these situations. Good things happen to me more because I constantly project positive vibes, all the time, even when I don’t feel like it.
There are many times when I feel the weight of my past or the frustrations of the world around me. I do think it’s important not to ignore these instances, but to recognize them and push through those feelings. I had a conversation with a guy I met the other night, and it made me further realize how happy I am to be me, and how happy I am to be here, to be so present in these moments.
We were talking about traveling and how some people have many negative experiences. I can honestly say upon being here (Vietnam), I have yet to have one negative experience. I have met the most amazing people; locals and expats. I have not had anything stolen from me nor have I felt uncomfortable or threatened in anyway. I am constantly encountered with people who go above and beyond for me, and I barely know them. When I first started to ponder my thoughts about this, I thought “maybe I’m just lucky,” but I am not lucky.
I can always relate my ability to be extremely disciplined, courageous and committed to fitness. People, every now and then, tell me how ‘lucky’ I am to look the way I do, or what I tend to get a lot is “I would do that (diet, exercise, etc…) BUT (insert excuse).” I used to have a lot of excuses too, but they got me no where. Besides, I think excuses are one of the most unattractive qualities anyone can hold.
Everything I have now I have worked very hard for. I get up when I am hung over, tired, or when I simply just don’t have the motivation, and I work out anyways. I say no to certain foods and activities because I firmly believe in something and refuse to fall off just because it would be easier. It took me a long time to develop this frame of thinking, but now it is so ingrained in me, it’s just who I am now. I am so glad I started this fixed way of thinking when I was young, because I can relate this to everything in my life now. It carries with me in so many aspects.
I know now the reason so many great people walk into my life is because I project positivity and greatness. I will not make time for negative energy because all I want to be is positive energy. It’s like I don’t even see negative people, so it would be impossible for me to acknowledge them. I choose to be a good person everyday, and I choose to go above and beyond for others, and without me having to ask, I constantly receive it back.
I still get in ruts. This morning and this past week I have felt a little lost. I’m in the middle of finally becoming comfortable teaching, I’m still getting settled with my finances, and still doing my best to learn the culture here. I haven’t even tried learning Vietnamese yet. There are moments when I start to feel negative, but these are just moments. I am in prime condition to think past these thoughts.
I moved to Vietnam for a challenge, because back home I was unhappy and no longer challenged in my everyday life. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose and I didn’t know what to do. I remember the feeling of it almost being my 26th birthday, and I was in tears because I felt so incomplete. I knew I didn’t want children, marriage, a boyfriend, or at this point I didn’t even care about the competitions I worked so hard for over the years. I felt like I was so much bigger than all of these things. I knew I could truly make a difference in life if somehow, I just created the opportunity for myself.
Teaching has absolutely opened up the freedom I needed to express myself to try and make a better world. Moving to Asia, alone, has forced me out of my comfort zone. I feel like I have silently changed so many lives around me just by being me, and maybe thats my purpose. All I know now is that if I can do all this, and overcome what I have in the past, I can do anything. This life I have started to build is just the beginning, and I am so grateful. I know what I want, and if I just keep what I want in mind, I truly believe my higher self will continue to show me the right path.